Plane Crashes, Drug Addiction, and Tomorrow

Sitting here in tears. I just finished reading Heaven is Herea memoir by Stephanie Nielson, author of the blog, NieNie Dialogues.
In my last post, I told you I’d share a funny story about our flight to Florida last week—the one where I overcame my eighteen-year-old fear of getting on an airplane with my hubby while leaving our kids at home. 
Since I am attempting to write a book and actually get it published, I’m doing a great deal of reading memoirs. While at Wal-Mart doing some last minute shopping for my trip, I noticed a new book on the shelf: 



I made the cover of the book really big for you to see…it is a memoir of inspiration and hope. Not unlike the message I am conveying in my book. So I bought it. 

I was feeling pretty good about our trip. We gave the kids a loving, “so long” as we dropped them off at school, and off to the airport we went. We boarded the plane; I said my trusty trust prayer: 

“God, I’m putting my trust in you today. 
No matter what happens, good or bad, I know you have it under control,
 and it’s all part of your plan to create an eternity beyond my wildest dreams.”

…And off we went. 
There was quite a bit of turbulence, so I pulled out my new book to keep my mind occupied. There really should have been a little more information on the cover of this book, or maybe I should have turned it over to read the back. Here’s how the book starts: 

 

 

A voice whispered, “Roll.”          

I fell to the ground and crushed the brilliant flames that licked at my clothes, my skin, my hair. The mangled wreck of our airplane blazed nearby. 

Really God? Of all the books I had to bring with me to read it had to be a memoir about a horrific plane crash? And she had gotten on a plane with her husband and left her four kids at home. Literally, my biggest fear. 
But, as all great writers do, Stephanie Nielson had me hooked with the first sentence. So I kept reading. I couldn’t put it down until I knew that she would be okay. I realize since it’s a memoir, and she actually wrote it, that she is alive and well today, but I had to hear it from her. Life has been crazy since we returned from our trip, so I just got a chance to read the Epilogue, and I think she has convinced me to take my book in a different direction. 
My story, a seemingly perfect life as a wife, mother, and pharmacist turned up side down by grand-mal seizures and depression, my desperate search to cure myself, and ultimate realization that God is the ultimate healer, is a book in itself.

And it was originally what I’d planned to write.

As you know, prescription drug addiction plowed uninvited into my life and turned a snowstorm into an avalanche. God had to really work on me a while on the whole “transparency” thing for me to be able to make addiction part of my story. Some of my closest friends didn’t know I was dealing with addiction until recently. And I don’t know if I’ll ever work as a pharmacist again. What pharmacy would hire me?

But God didn’t tell me to worry about my future. He told me to be transparent right now. 
In writing about addiction, I thought my job was to draw people in with my story and finish the book with the miracle God gave me. I hoped to appeal to a secular audience, so I have not written much about God’s part in my life before he healed me in 2010. But God has always been a huge part of my life, even though I didn’t realize it. He has always pursued me; I just had not always pursued Him back. My life was perfect. 

It’s hard to realize that you need God when everything is hunky-dory. 
In Heaven is Here, Stephanie tells of her life before her accident, during her immediate recovery in the hospital, and life after she returned home. God was a part of Stephanie’s whole story, and through the heart changes He walked through with her, her relationship with Him was deepened to a whole new level. 
So in my book—and my blog—I hope to share on a more personal level. It’s easy to share the lessons I learned on this journey, and I will continue to do so. But I hope to share more of myself with you. 
I think Satan loves to get in our heads and tell us,” People don’t really care about that. Why do they want to know about you? You’re not famous, just an everyday person. People will just laugh at you.” 
Stephanie Nielson was just an everyday person who had to overcome extraordinary circumstances. She writes that she never would have survived without God. I’ve never had to survive a plane crash (thank goodness), but I learned so much from her journey…only because I got to know her personally through her book. If I’d simply read a newspaper article highlighting the details of her accident and recovery, I’d have learned nothing of her heart and her relationship with God. And it was God that saved her…completely. 
Prescription drug addiction is the fastest growing drug problem in the United States. In 2010, enough painkillers were prescribed to medicate every American adult around-the-clock for an entire month. Although most prescriptions are deemed necessary for medical use, many end up in the hands of people who misuse or abuse them. In 2010, about 12 million Americans over the age of twelve reported nonmedical use of prescription painkillers in the past year.
There are a plethora of self-help books out there on addiction. There are tons of memoirs about drug abuse—mostly by famous people addicted to illegal drugs. But prescription drugs are legal. Prescribed by doctors every day. To Christians who would never dream of misusing or abusing prescription drugs. Until they are addicted, that is. 
It won’t be pleasant digging up emotions that I’d really rather leave in the past or the constant struggle going on in my brain the entire time I struggled with addiction. But I want people to be able to read what I write and know me—like I know Stephanie now.

It will be hard to write; but today, I’m writing this post. 

Tomorrow will take care of itself.


From my heart,

Celeste

The Road to a Flawless Experience


When we must endure hard times in our lives, it’s usually impossible to envision what good could possibly come of it. If you regularly read my blog, you may have read a recent post on Blind Trust.

Believing in God is easy. Putting our complete trust in Him is not. 

In today’s prescription verse above, Paul tells us how our trials and struggles actually make us better. 

You couldn’t say anything Paul didn’t have a comeback for: 

People: “You know preaching about this Jesus is going to get you killed. “
Paul: “To die is gain.”

People: “Okay, then we’ll let you live.”
Paul: “To live is Christ.”

People: “Then we are going to torture you.”
Paul: “I don’t compare my current sufferings to future glory.”

People: “We will put you in prison.”
Paul: “Then I’ll bring a hymnal and sing songs and convert all your guards.”

Here are a few of the “minor” ways Paul suffered for the sake of Christ: 

2 Corinthians 11:24-28~He received thirty nine lashes on his back for the sake of the gospel.
He was beaten with rods three times for the sake of the gospel.
He was stoned one time for the sake of the gospel (He was not HIGH on rocks. He was HIT with rocks! A group usually did this in the old days!)
He was shipwrecked three times in travels for the sake of the gospel.
He was thrown in the belly of a ship for a day and a night, (the deep), for the sake of the gospel.
He had many dangerous trips, (among highwaymen and robbers), for the sake of the gospel.
He had to travel through dangerous rivers for the sake of the gospel.
He was often in danger from his own people for the sake of the gospel.
He was in danger from Gentiles for the sake of the gospel.
He was in dangers in the city for the sake of the gospel.
He was in dangers in the wilderness for the sake of the gospel.
He was in danger from false Christians for the sake of the gospel.
He suffered toil and hardship for the sake of the gospel.
He spent sleepless nights for the gospel.
He was hungry and thirsty for the sake of the gospel.
He was in fasting often for the sake of the gospel.
He was in cold and nakedness for the sake of the gospel.
In addition to all of the above, as an Apostle, he had the worry of all of the churches daily on him for the sake of the gospel.
And yet he still trusted. He knew that all of the persecution he faced would be worth the day he would encounter Jesus and spend eternity with Him in Heaven.  

David and I went to Florida last week. Yes, I overcame My Irrational Fear and actually flew on the same airplane as David…leaving our kids behind at home (I’ll share a story later this week about our flight—God definitely has a sense of humor). We stayed at a fabulous resort in Orlando where his convention was being held and we came upon this sign as we were exploring the hotel: 



I couldn’t help but apply that to life. 


Just like Paul, we are always under construction. God uses every situation to make us better…if we let Him. 


As we travel life’s highway, we need to remember there will always be construction paving our way to a flawless experience in Heaven! 

From my heart, 

Celeste


Make-a-change Monday~Blind Trust


When I was little, I remember playing the “trust” game with my friends. You know, the one where you stand in front of someone and blindly fall backwards, trusting them to catch you? It’s really hard to do. 

   Sometimes they catch you
   Sometimes they are just mean and decide to let you fall
   Sometimes they claim they didn’t know you were about to fall back

Either way, sometimes you turn out okay, other times, not so much.
How would it feel to know that no matter when you decide to close your eyes and fall backward, there would always be someone there to catch you? 
You see where I’m going with this…there IS always someone there. God. 
If you believe in our almighty God, it’s not hard to know He’s there. The hard part is actually trusting Him—having the faith to know that He is there and He is in control, no matter what the situation. 
Bad things happen we don’t always understand. 


If you click on the links to the stories above, you will see something they all have in common. No matter how hopeless the situation seemed, God used it to expand the boundaries of His kingdom. That’s His plan. 
As humans, we live bound by the limits of time. Everything in this world has as beginning and an end, and it’s hard for us to comprehend eternity. God created time, and His desire is to spend and infinite amount of it with His children in His kingdom—a paradise we will know as Heaven. 
So today’s make-a-change Monday is to work on our spiritual self—and I promise when our spiritual self is in good shape, our physical self follows along. 
Every morning when you wake up, pray this short prayer:
“God, I’m putting my trust in you today. 
No matter what happens, good or bad, I know you have it under control,
 and it’s all part of your plan to create an eternity beyond my wildest dreams.”
And just so you don’t forget, get out that all-purpose post-it note, write “trust” on it, and stick it on your alarm clock. Gotta love those post-it notes! 
Just in case you are thinking, “If God has this big plan, it doesn’t matter if I pray or not,” let me say this: 
Prayer doesn’t change God. Prayer changes us.
 Praying “tunes us in” to God and His plan,
 and makes us more aware of His presence in our lives.
Just try it. Even if it’s just words starting out, God will begin working in your heart. Remember, it’s all about small changes. Try it for 3 months and see if your thinking changes. What do you have to lose? 
I’ve got my post-it note up to remind me! 😉
From my heart,
Celeste


My Irrational Fear


Well, I knew it would happen sooner or later. I have to face my own irrational fear

God showed me his almighty power on September 25, 2010, in no uncertain terms. I know he has a plan. I know he is in control. 

I know it, I know it, I know it.
But…I don’t fly on the same airplane as my hubby if the kids aren’t along for the trip. I mean, if we all die together that’s one thing; or if one if us dies, they will still have the other. But when we are travelling together…. you get the picture.
In my head I know it’s irrational to fly on separate planes. Not to mention inconvenient.
If it were in God’s plan—for whatever reason—to take us at that particular time, our planes would crash into each other. Right?  I actually cancelled a free trip to Lake Tahoe one time because I was having a panic attack about flying on the same plane. Crazy!
So I knew it was bound to happen. David wants me to go with him to a conference in Florida next month. There’s no way the kids can go, and there’s really not an option to fly separately. But this time, I didn’t look for that option.
It’s time I let that fear go.
I trust God. I have faith in God. I know He has a plan. I know He’s in control.
It could not be any clearer than in today’s prescription verse:
Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord God is with you wherever you go.
Do you have an irrational fear?
From my heart,
Celeste

 

America on Drugs

Bear with me here guys, this is a long post, and this comes from years of being a pharmacist and the personal experience of being a patient…but for anyone on an antidepressant or other “brain” drug, you need to read this:


Your Brain on Drugs…no, I won’t be showing you a picture of a fried egg, though I must say it’s a great analogy! We know street drugs fry your brain, that’s a no-brainer! (Sorry =o)
I’m talking about prescription drugs…and not just the “controlled” ones. I’m talking about all of the psychotropic drugs prescribed in the United States today. As a pharmacist, it has made me crazy to see this huge increase in my years in this industry. As a patient, I fell right into the trap. Let me give you just a few statistics from reputable sources to put it in perspective for you…


A study was done by the American Medical Association from 1988 to 1994, during which time the visits to a physician for depression increased from 10.99 million in 1988 to 20.43 million in 1994. Visits for stimulant drugs increased from .57 million to 2.86 million. In a much more recent study, the Centers for Disease Control the percentage of people who use five or more prescriptions drugs increased by 70% in the last 10 years. It’s obvious to me that this increase is largely due to the increase in psychotropic prescription visits. 


Our society is in danger. Real danger. Christians and non-Christians alike. Many physicians  are prescribing narcotics, antidepressants, anticonvulsants, and other miscellaneous psychotropic drugs like candy, and do not realize the true danger they are putting their patients in. Different doctors and different pharmacies lead the way to missed information and drug interactions. Doctors cannot possibly keep up with all of the drug interactions possible between the thousands of prescription drugs on the market today. Even as a pharmacist, I ended up with a potentially life threatening drug interaction that my doctor(s) and pharmacist missed. I had not been working in pharmacy during the time Cymbalta was approved and put on pharmacy shelves, and due to an interaction with my migraine prescription medication, I ended up in a state for 24 hours where I did not know what was real and what wasn’t. I didn’t know if this world was real, or if I was dead or alive. At one point, I did not know David was my husband. Marlee was laying next to me in the bed and I actually asked David if she was dead. It was the scariest night of my entire life. I know this sounds crazy, and even when I was in the midst of it I felt sure that I would wake up in a straight jacket staring at four white walls!  


When my reality began to become more clear, due to my pharmacy training I knew what happened. I immediately began researching the medications I had taken, and quickly discovered I’d experienced serotonin syndrome. Now I must say should have known the possibility of this interaction, but in this case, my brain was, well, sick. Seizures, migraine, depression, and medication did not leave me in the mind to catch these things…my doctor and pharmacist should have caught it. I know that when my prescription was filled, the pharmacist was required to manually override a drug interaction possibility, which means they just overrode it by habit, without really looking, or just neglected to mention it. Last summer,in a total of approximately eight days working as a relief pharmacist, I called doctors on four separate occasions to warn them of this exact same interaction. All four times the prescriptions were changed. 


This incident is just one of millions that happen daily. While there are definitely patients that require psychotropic drug therapy, these drugs are widely overused. I’m not sure why doctors feel so much more comfortable prescribing these drugs now than in the past, but where therapy was once first course of treatment, doctors now tend to give the drug first, to “dial things down” before therapy is started. Once the patient gets the prescription, they do not want to follow up with expensive therapy. Our society of immediate gratification and prescription drug advertising on every venue possible lead us to the “quick fix.” After all, “Depression Hurts, Cymbalta can help.” Right? 


Due to the depression I experienced during my years of seizures, my doctors kept trying to get me to take an antidepressant. I finally conceded and began taking Cymbalta. If I wasn’t miserable before, I sure was then! After about a month on the Cymbalta, I felt horrible and was still depressed, so I decided I would wean off of it. Ha! Now that was a joke. The “non-addictive, harmless” antidepressant was everything but. I know you have all seen the commercial for Cymbalta, but in my research I stumbled across a youtube video that really makes the point.  It is a little on the extreme side, but only a little. 


Depression hurts, Cymbalta hurts more


Before I conclude, let me just say this…there is certainly a need and a place for antidepressants. We have just come to rely on the quick fix of drugs way too much. If you happen to be on Cymbalta and doing well, Yay! For me, many of the side effects of Cymbalta were front and center. As patients, we have just become too trusting:


First,we trust our doctors to know everything we need to know. No one can know everything. 


Second, we expect our pharmacists not to be too busy to counsel us every aspect of the drug, but they can’t control the 15 people waiting on prescriptions at once (and I can assure you, the chain pharmacies push the limit on the number of prescriptions allowed per pharmacist), nor can they control the hurry we are in to get out of the pharmacy.


Third, we trust the FDA not to put anything on the market that could harm us. It is sad we cannot depend on our government to keep our best interests at heart, but unfortunately, the almighty dollar often takes priority.


And yet, we are not trusting enough in God. We don’t believe and trust that God is all that we need. I know I used the verse on this prescription in another post, but it says so much. When God created the earth, and created man to inhabit the earth, he gave us everything we’d ever need. With so much emphasis placed on the synthetic psychotropic drugs available today, we lose our focus. We need to think simply and eternally at the same time. More talking, more prayer, more God. Put God at the head of your medical team, and let him lead you in the very best way to restore your mind…for eternity. 


From my heart, 
Celeste