Make-a-Change Monday~Surprise!

9 April, 2012 by 2 Comments
My oldest daughter, Miranda, turned 18 on Saturday. We asked her repeatedly what she’d like for her birthday, and the only answer we ever got was “love.” First, she loves being loved, and second, she couldn’t think of anything she really wants. If you know Miranda, you know she is loved. She demands love and attention, but more than she demands it, she deserves it. 
Miranda had her birthday all planned out in her mind, and of course the day didn’t go at all as planned. Most things typically don’t, right? 
At the end of the day, she was a little bummed out. She didn’t want to be, but I could tell she was. 
What she didn’t know was the amount of “love” she’d be getting on Sunday. We had a big surprise birthday party planned for her. It turned out great. We surprised her for sure and had a house full of her friends jump out at her yelling “surprise” when she walked in the door. 
The previously bummed-out Miranda was now smiling from ear to ear.

  • She loved her friends for caring enough about her to be there
  • She loved being the center of attention
  • She loved the fun we all shared
  • She loved that we love her enough to have planned it
  • She loved the surprise    
The surprise built her up. 
The surprise made her feel special. 
The surprise made her feel loved. 
God commands us in scripture to build each other up. There is enough tearing people down in our society don’t you think? 
So…today’s make-a-change Monday is to surprise someone. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate surprise party. You could:
  • Take a bag of groceries to someone in need
  • Grab a Starbucks coffee and take to a friend
  • Plant some spring flowers for a neighbor
  • Babysit for a friend to have a night out
  • Take a friend to a movie
The possibilities are endless…and the blessings are plenty. 
You never know what small gesture will make a difference.
Was Miranda blessed by being the recipient of a surprise? Absolutely. Was I a pleased-as-punch, camera-toting mom? You betcha! The slightly bewildered, on-top-of-the-world look on her face was priceless; one I wanted to remember forever. 
Surprises are good for everybody!  
…And remember,
I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers,
 you did it to me. (Matthew 25:40 ESV)


From my heart,
Celeste

P.S. I’d love for you to leave me a comment with your surprise, and any blessings received!


Filed Under: Just for Fun, Make-a-change Mondays, Making Changes, Parenting Tips, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: , , , ,

Make-a-change Monday~(((Hug))) your children

19 March, 2012 by Leave a Comment
Make
Miranda and Trevor (my 17 and 13 year old children) are working with Defenders for Children to help build a website for kids to go to for help if they are depressed, abused, angry, etc. 


It has opened my eyes and broken my heart.  G
The number of children in our country who are abused and neglected is staggering. 
God gave us children as a gift. They are to be cherished. 
Today’s make-a-change Monday is simple: 
(((Hug))) your children. 
Every single day. 
It’s that simple. 
From my heart, 
Celeste
Quote for thought: 
“God didn’t give us children to make us better parents;
He gave us children to make us better children.”
~Betsy Kenney
What kind of child are you today?
Filed Under: Family Focused, Make-a-change Mondays, Parenting Tips Tagged With: , , ,

Mars and Venus

25 November, 2011 by Leave a Comment


This time of year brings so much of everything, and for many it means busy, busier, and busiest.  That’s sure what it means for me. So earlier this week when I ended up waiting two hours for a doctor’s appointment, I was a little frustrated. It just so happened that I had a book in my purse I’d won in a drawing, Eden Derailed, so I pulled it out to read. Well, the Mars and Venus authors have nothing on Matt Williams. He speaks to everyone—singles, married, men, women, divorced, and teens—on the plan God laid out for sex. He did create it, and he did have a specific plan in mind when he did.
If you have any question marks in your mind concerning the way your significant other thinks regarding sex, read this book. If you want to know what on earth God was thinking when he made men and women so different, read this book. If you want to better teach your children about sex—what it should be rather than what it should not be—read this book.
Sometimes God uses unusual circumstances for very specific purposes. There are a few people in my life right now that could really benefit from this book, and I will pass it along to them. But it also made me look at my marriage. I have an awesome husband whom I’m sure I’ve never given nearly enough credit. So every day from now until Christmas, I’m challenging myself to write down five things about David that I’m thankful for. One month, no repeats.
Often in a marriage, we take our spouse for granted. We are so busy in our own shoes; we forget what it might be like to be in theirs.
During this month from now til Christmas, spend some time this month on your marriage? Go to Amazon and check out Eden Derailed . Here’s the link: 


Will you do this with me? Just get a small notebook and jot down the date and five things about your spouse you’re thankful for. Then, give the notebook to your spouse for Christmas. Who knows? You might score some big brownie points!
Hopefully this exercise will result in a happier, richer relationship to begin the New Year!
From my heart,

Celeste

Filed Under: Marriage Menders, Parenting Tips Tagged With:

Smart Parenting: Don’t wait til it’s too late!

8 November, 2011 by Leave a Comment
Parenting. Whew! It’s a hard job these days! As if it’s not hard enough worrying about helping them with the basics like homework, friends, and dating, now we have to worry about the drugs that are rampant in our society today. Many people don’t realize how dangerous drugs are. These drugs are deadly–Crack, cocaine, Oxycontin, heroin, and now bath salts! Some of these drugs are addictive the very first time they are used, and then it may be too late. The very best method is prevention. But what if that doesn’t work? 
Will you know the signs? 
Will you admit that your child may be using drugs you or will you be in denial, hoping it will go away? 
Will you confront them?
Will you be too embarrassed to get them the help they need? 
Will you become an enabler because you’re afraid they will come to hate you?
Satan uses drugs to get a stronghold on our youth of today. Anita Estes has a new book available, Letters to God on a Prodigal Son:Overcoming Addiction Through Prayer in which she shares the story of her son’s drug addiction, the signs that she recognized, and her prayers to help him overcome it. 
If you have a child, whether you suspect drug use or not, you need to read this book. I know too many parents who realize what’s going on too late. Just as we try to arm our children for the world we live in, we need to arm ourselves with the tools we need to parent them. This book is an essential tool. If you purchase it on November 8th, you can even get some free gifts! Here’s the link…
Be armed and ready! 
From my heart,

Celeste
Filed Under: Overcoming Addiction, Parenting Tips Tagged With: , , ,

You Reap What You Sow. But Skunk Stink? Really?

14 September, 2011 by 4 Comments


Last Friday, I had a horrible, funny, but not horribly funny beginning to my day. When I was telling my friend Tonya what happened, she said, “I bet I’ll be reading about that in your blog soon!”
Also last week, I was listening to an audio class on speaking by Vonda Skelton (long time friend and now mentor). In her suggestions, she says to keep track of stories in your life that you might be able to find lessons in. 
So here goes…
I woke up Friday morning to my usual routine of letting the dogs out, getting the kids up, breakfast, lunch boxes, etc. I smelled something that seemed like it was coming from the bedroom. It was horrible! It kept working it’s way through the house toward the kitchen. It smelled like a skunk, and we often see them up on a road near our house, so I didn’t think much about it. As usual, we were in a hurry and needed to get out the door, so I rushed the kids out (they were gagging at this point, so for once they were in a hurry to get out), and went to the back door to let the dogs in. That’s when I realized…
Now just in case you don’t know me, my dogs are not just any dogs, they are Great Danes. Benji, at 130lbs, and Sofie, at 120lbs, reside inside with us at all times except to eat and potty. They are huge, spoiled rotten, babies. 
I look out the back door to let Benji in, and he looks like he has ants in his pants, prancing up and down on all four paws. His face, though, really told the story. He had three loooonng strands of drool hanging from his jowls like spaghetti noodles, and the white fur on his face and neck had sort of an ash gray tint to it. Hesitantly, I opened the door and thought I’d walked into my pharmacy school organic chemistry lab following a sulfur experiment gone wrong. For those who can’t identify, imagine jumping into the dump at your local convenience center. He’d been sprayed right in the face by a skunk! And Sofie, who is normally attached to Benji at the hip, was outside of her fence area at another door looking freaked out to say the least. 
We had to get out the door or we’d be late for school, so I reluctantly put them in their room and left. The car smelled like skunk too by this point, I guess from my clothes. I got the kids to school, stocked up supplies from the pet store and Publix, and headed home, armed and ready. When I returned home, I swear I could see green peppy-le-pew fumes seeping from the pores of my house. For five hours I scrubbed, sprayed, rinsed and washed everything that came in contact with skunk odor. Then, I put the dogs and me in the shower for a dawn dishwashing detergent shampoo, a white vinegar conditioner, and a de-skunking spray mousse. Rinse and repeat. 
After getting rid of every towel and rag I used and leaving the windows open all day, the kids were able to come home and not gag. It did take a full 24 hours to completely get rid of the skunk smell, but it did finally disappear. I am now a de-skunking expert, though I’m not sure it’s something I want to be known for. 
There is no way for me to prevent this from happening again. I can be there for cleanup, but I cannot prevent it. The dogs tangled with a skunk and got burned…sprayed. They had to reap what they had sown, and unfortunately, so did I! 
How often do we engage in some type of sin and have to reap the consequences? While we are doing whatever it is we shouldn’t be, we might think, “This is my decision, it’s my body, my money…I’m not hurting anyone but myself.” I’d be stretching it to say that Benji had those thoughts when he decided to pursue a skunk, but I am sure he was just thinking, “Oooohhhh, that’s a cool cat. Wonder if it wants to play?”…as he bounces towards it like Tigger. But while he was doing something he shouldn’t and got sprayed, it affected me as much, if not more, as it did him. 
Let me give you a “worst case scenario” here just to make you think. Let’s say I went out with some friends and decided to have a couple of glasses of wine at dinner. I don’t often drink, and all of my friends were drinking glass after glass and seemed fine. When it was time to go home, we all got in our cars and left. I felt a little funny, but nothing I couldn’t handle. Besides, all of my friends were drinking anyway and they were all driving. On my way home, my husband calls to see how close I am, and if I can stop by the grocery store for milk. As I pull into the grocery store, I really need to use the bathroom (from the wine I guess), so as I pull into my parking space, I reach over to grab my wallet from my purse so I can get inside quickly. Then I heard a “thud.” I immediately look up and see a woman frantically running toward the front of my car. Her little boy was retuning her buggy to the stall as I pulled in the space and I never saw him. His family and friends never got to see him alive again. 
I get goose bumps just writing such a story, even though it’s just an example, but how often are we in a hurry and do such things? Who’s to say that it wouldn’t have happened even if I’d never drank any of the wine? But now, no one would make that assumption. The police record would show my blood alcohol level and I would be charged with manslaughter with the involvement of alcohol. I could end up in prison. All for what? 
I could have made the decision to drink tea instead of the wine, or I could have ridden home with someone who had not been drinking. But instead, that one little instant decision cost the life of a little boy, and his family and friends lives would be changed forever. My life would be changed forever, whether I actually went to prison or not, just from having to live with what I’d done. My family would be changed, especially if I went to prison, but also having to deal with the guilt and grief I would endure for who knows how long. 
I’m sure you are getting the point here. We must reap what we sow. Yes, God can forgive our sins and make them as far as the east is from the west, but that does not take away the earthly consequences; for you and for others. 
I could just as easily have used another example. I’ve seen this one come to life more than I want to think about. Let’s say David and I are having marital problems. A co-worker of mine is having similar problems with his wife. So we go for a drink after work one night to have someone to talk to and “compare notes.” I’m not saying men and women cannot be friends, but we know in our heart when there is something more to it. This seemingly innocent situation can lead to broken families and divorce, financial problems, loss of jobs, depression, or even suicide. When we take part in a situation we know in our hearts to be wrong, there will eventually be consequences…sometimes an avalanche of consequences. Not just for us, but for anyone remotely attached to the situation. 
You might argue, “Bad things always happen to good people, who’s to say it was my fault and wouldn’t have happened anyway?” In a sense, I agree, and I know that God uses all things for his good, no matter what they originated from. But do you want to go through life wondering? Knowing that something you did could be the thing that began the destruction of someone else’s life?
Romans 8:28 tells us that God does use all things for his good, but he also tells us in Hebrews 9:27, And just as it is appointed for a man to die once, after that comes judgment. We will all certainly have to stand before God in judgment one day, and I know my list will be long. But I am working very hard to sow good seeds for the rest of my life so my harvest can produce good things for many. 
I have a friend who always says to her daughter, “make good choices!” as she’s running out the door. The girls think it’s funny sometimes, but if we all had that little voice in our head saying, “make good choices!” maybe we’d think twice about getting ourselves in precarious situations. 
…So let’s all MAKE GOOD CHOICES!
From my heart, 
Celeste
Filed Under: Just for Fun, Making Changes, Parenting Tips, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: , , ,

Living IN the world, not OF it

22 August, 2011 by 1 Comment


Okay my friends, with 17, 12, and 8-year-old children, we seem to be in all stages of “development” these days! Lots of interesting discussions in our house lately. 

The subject of “the birds and the bees” is never an easy one to discuss with your children, but it is necessary that we do. I promise they are getting the information somewhere, so if you want to be the one to teach them, you’d better be aware of the information they are getting. As you well know, kids today are hearing all kinds of things at younger and younger ages. 

I have found myself recently in discussions with other moms on the B&B’s. I am so proud of the young woman that my 17 year old, Miranda, is turning out to be. By the grace of God, she has turned out well! I always call her our guinea pig since she was the first child subjected to our parenting skills! David and I have applied a few rules in our journey as parents I want to share.  
      
Answer questions as they come up, without giving more information than asked. Do not dismiss their questions as if they are silly.
        
Always answer questions about our bodies with emphasis on the fact that God created every little part of our bodies for a purpose and in His image. 

When the sex subject comes up, don’t freak out and assume that your child is doing something wrong, and don’t be so embarrassed you can’t talk about sex with them. 

Just as the case with many of God’s creations, the world has distorted and cheapened something that God created to be an intimate, one-of-a-kind bond between a husband and wife. Always keep this in mind when dealing with anything in this world that has been changed by the sinful world we live in. 

Instill self-confidence in your child. Help them realize and understand that God created them and they are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:13-16). With girls especially, love from and self-confidence instilled by their father will have a huge impact on their choices of boyfriends and a husband. If they don’t feel this fatherly love, they may seek love and acceptance in boyfriends. I know that Miranda is the teenager she is today because her daddy has put her on a pedestal her entire life, and she will accept no less from anyone she dates or marries. Her values are strongly in place, and there is no one who could persuade her to do anything she did not want to do.

When you talk to your child about sex, try not to make a big deal about it. In other words, don’t break out “The Encyclopedia of Sex” (all four volumes) and try to explain it all at once! (Can you guess how I learned about those birds and bees? =o/ It was one loooong night!) 

Last, we work very hard not to shelter our children from the ways of the world. You must understand, however, that there is a difference between the KNOWLEDGE of this world and being INVOLVED in the ways of this world. Every family is different, and as parents, we are often products of the environment in which we were raised. Ahusband and wife bring to the parenting table a mixture of the ways they were raised. In our family, we do not worry about our children seeing us undressed (like getting into the bath or shower). As a matterof fact, during the years that I was having seizures, Trevor would not let me take a bath without someone in the bathroom with me (fearing I would drown if I had a seizure), and he was often the one with that job. (Don’t use your imagination here…it would not be a pretty sight! =o/) They know the differences between the anatomy of men and women, so their curiosity does not land them in a search for answers in the wrong places. We do not want to create a “forbidden fruit.” And again, I want to emphasize that we answer questions as theycome up. Often children will not ask a question until they are ready tohear the answer.

Nowhere in the Bible does God condone pre-marital sex. He specifically forbids it. In the world of our teenagers, and adults too for that matter, it is difficult to recognize the difference between Christians and non-Christians. That’s not acceptable. God calls us to be a peculiar people, and that’s what we need to be. In the world, not of the world.  
     
Keep in mind that I am only a parent to my three children, and every child is different. I am certainly no expert on raising children; I just want to share what has worked (so far) with me. Sometimes, well most of the time, children do not believe parents really know anything. They may have to learn lessons the hard way, and the best you can do for them is pray. 

So dig in your heels and brace yourself. If it hasn’t already been, it will be a subject in your home eventually. Don’t be blindsided by it–be prepared! 

I will be praying for you and your children. After all, my children will be choosing their spouses someday, and I want great young men and women for them to choose from! 




From my heart, 


Celeste 

Filed Under: Living in Faith, Living with Purpose, Parenting Tips, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: , , , , ,

How to Explain Sex to Your Children (1+1=1)

2 August, 2011 by Leave a Comment





I chatted with someone today that prompted me to repost this blog from my old site…I realize it’s a little off my current topic, but nevertheless…


Parenting is a tricky business, and our society doesn’t make it any easier. A few months ago, driving down the road, the innocent voice of my Marlee-girl springs from nowhere, “What is sex?”


Now, I knew it was an inevitable question because I have a 17 year old as well. No matter how hard we try to postpone the dreaded conversation, kids hear the word “sex” all the time.


Television.
Movies.
Friends. 
Siblings. 
And yes, Church! 


Due to the casual manor in which teens regard sex, pastors are commonly preaching what God teaches us about sex in the Bible. Our pastor at Brookwood, Perry Duggar, recently commented about this in a sermon. The reason we so often hear, “everybody’s doing it, “is NOT a reason to dismiss the dangers of premarital sex. The complacent attitude of our society makes it increasingly more difficult to distinguish christians from non-christians regarding sexual promiscuity. This is unacceptable. 


God specifically tells us as christians, we should be set apart from worldly things. We are to be IN the world, but not OF the world (Deuteronomy 7:6, 2 Corinthians 6:17). He calls us to be a peculiar people (I love that word, “peculiar”). 


Okay, back to the question…”What is sex?”


Giving myself time to think, I used the old answer-a-question-with-a-question trick…”What do you think sex is?” This way, I avoided telling her something she didn’t know yet, and might not be ready for. 


She replied, “When two married people lay in bed together naked.” Then, as an afterthought said, “I don’t think I will ever want to do that.”


First, I reassured her that she should not want to do that…yet. God created us to journey through different seasons of life, and how we feel about things will change. 


Second, I gave her an analogy to help her understand why God created sex in the first place. This may sound strange at first, but if you can take the “dirty” out of sex, and think of how God originally intended it, hopefully it will make sense. 


“You know how God created mommies to have babies grow inside their tummy and then feed them from their breast right after birth?”


“Yeah?”


“This time at the beginning of a child’s life is a very important bonding time between a baby and it’s mommy. The baby has been inside his mommy’s tummy for 9 months, and now as he starts life, he has the security of his mommy created partly by the skin to skin contact he has while nursing.”


“Okay?”


“When a man and a woman get married, God tells us that they are to become one flesh. They leave their mom and dad and leave their childhood behind (Ephesians 5:21). They are supposed to remain connected in that special way throughout their lives. They are bonded together in the promise of marriage, and that bond should never be broken.” 


[Marlee leaning forward in the back seat with ears perked up and eyes wide open!]


“So when two people get married and plan to spend the rest of their lives together, they should give themselves completely to each other. No secrets, no shame, no one else, two together, forever.” 


“Just as a baby’s life begins bonded to his mother, a man and woman leave their mother and father, and through this special bond called “sex,” begin a new life as husband and wife.”


Marlee seemed to understand and accept that answer, and I put off telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth a little while longer. 


As I instill these truths from God to all of my children, I pray that they will learn the value and importance of sex inside marriage, and the special bond created through commitment of a husband and wife for life. I pray that my children and yours choose the path God has laid out for them. Mistakes will be made, and I praise God for the merciful and forgiving God he is. He can redeem those mistakes, but mistakes often have consequences. We don’t want our children to have to learn lessons the hard way, do we? Whenever I can teach them to avoid learning lessons the hard way, I do. The bond that a husband and wife share is theirs, and theirs alone. It is an intimate connection that should hold them together, forever. 


From my heart, 
Celeste


p.s. Well, I just posted this today from an old blog, and just tonight, a few hours after my post, Marlee says, “Mommy, how does sex make you have a baby?” So I guess I didn’t postpone the talk too long! It was late, though, when she asked, so I told her it’s not a quick answer, and takes a little time to explain, so she said we’d talk about it tomorrow…hmmm.

Filed Under: Parenting Tips Tagged With:

Just to make you smile

29 July, 2011 by 2 Comments

Taking a small prescription break today…maybe I’ll start Funny Fridays? Gotta lighten things up every once in awhile! 


Here’s your Funny Friday story for today…


All of my kids love for me and David to tell them funny things that happened while we were growing up. They LOVE to hear the funny–and stupid–things we did. Oh how I wish I remembered them all! 


So my kids will have stories to tell their kids, I keep a journal for each of them full of stories of the funny things they do or say.


Last week I was sitting on the front porch of my mother-in-law’s house with her and Marlee and was reminded…


When Miranda (my oldest) was three, she absolutely loved to play with dinosaurs. She could literally sit for an hour or two in her own little world engaging in riveting conversation with her dinosaurs! Well, fourteen years ago, Miranda and I were sitting on that same front porch watching a storm roll in; thunder and lightning roaring and crackling in the distance. 


“Mommy, what happens if you get struck by lightning?”


“Well, it would definitely hurt you if it doesn’t kill you.”


“Would it be a painful way to die?”


“I’m not sure. I think it would happen so fast you might not realize it.”


After letting these morbid thoughts sink into her oh-so-innocent three year old brain, she continued, “How do you think we’ll die?”


“I don’t know. If I had to choose, I would hope that we would not die, but all go together in the rapture.” 


No pause from Miranda, she just looked up at me with her big blue eyes open wide and said…


“The veloci-rapture?”


From my heart, 
Celeste

Filed Under: Just for Fun, Miranda, Parenting Tips Tagged With: , , , , ,