The Trulywed Game~Episode Four: Achieving the “Big O”

You have to watch the podcast. If you are married, have a boyfriend, have children, or are still in the planning phase, this sermon will change your way of thinking. I am only going to highlight Perry’s main points and give you some of my thoughts (his points are in blue). I’ll bet you’ve never heard a sermon like this before!

Here is the link. If you cannot access it directly from here, just copy and paste it into your browser…

Over the last 4 weeks, Perry has preached a sermon series on God’s plan for marriage. He has discussed emotional intimacy, spiritual intimacy, and this week is physical intimacy. Glad you can’t see me…my face is red just typing this! 

I grew up as a “good little Southern Baptist,” and knew my list of “thou shalt not’s.” Of course sex was high on that list. In my mind, it was forbidden, so it must be bad. On television, the only time sex is “shown” is between two people who are not married. It’s either teenagers having premarital sex, or it’s a married man or woman in an affair. Hollywood only portrays a worldly view of sex. We never see it portrayed as the wonderful God-given gift that it is. 

Physical intimacy results from becoming one sexually with my spouse. 

1) Appreciate the spiritual nature of intercourse. He designed it to be a supernatural encounter, never intended to be experienced without a spiritual dimension. (See 1 Corinthians 6:13-20) 

Now I don’t know about you, but I am rarely praying during sex! We have been so programmed to see sex as a physical act; we forget that God actually created it! When we have “the talk” with our kids, we explain sex physically, not spiritually. Not long ago, Marlee (my 8-year-old) asked me, “What is sex?” I truly believe that God gave me the answer. First, I asked her what she thought it was so I wouldn’t give her information she wasn’t ready for. Her reply was “when a married couple lays in the bed together naked.” 
So I explained it to her like this…

“You know when a mommy breastfeeds her baby? Well, God designed us that way. During that ‘skin to skin’ contact, a bond is formed between and a mommy and her baby that no one else would ever have. God intended for a man and woman to have a similar bond when they are married. They have that ‘skin to skin’ contact they never share with anyone else. It’s a bond they have together for life. They become one.”

2) Act according to God’s direction. 

Honor marriage, and guard against the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex. Hebrews 13:4 (Msg)

Sex has taken the place of kissing from a few decades ago. Sex should grow from a permanently committed love. It should not be depended on to stimulate love. 

When David and I first had talk to our kids about sex, we even had the thought, “In this day and time, the best we can probably do is make them wait at least until after high school, when they are in a serious relationship that might be forever.” Now of course we want them to wait until marriage, but we were trying to be realistic. SHAME ON US! God created sex, and has a purpose for it. Are we to believe that he made us incapable of waiting until we’re married? NO. The “true love waits” road may not make us popular, but it will be what allows us to experience the real intimacy of sex inside marriage. 

There is no freedom without restraints. Think about that statement. It applies to everything that is good in our lives. Without boundaries, there would be no such thing as freedom. 

3) Accommodate my spouse’s needs. Read 1 Corinthians 7:3-5. 

Does this mean we have to do anything our spouse wants? No. Does it mean we need to have open communication? Yes. Hebrews 13:4 tells us that the marriage bed is undefiled. Inside marriage there is room to try new things. Continue discovering each other as long as you are in agreement. 

4) Attempt to attain oneness. That’s the “Big O”~ Oneness. 

Read Genesis 2:18, 22-25. The end of that passage says …a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.  Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame. 

True intimacy grows from a relationship where your body and your heart must be naked. The relationship must be one of complete acceptance. The goal of sex is unification, not just pleasure. It is a soul-deep bond that develops when people in a committed marriage love and serve each other. 

As Christians, it’s time we quit letting the world determine what sex is or what it can be. As parents, we need to teach our children about the awesome gift of sex God gave us, and how amazing it can be when we use it as God planned. As spouses, we need to stick with God’s plan.

When my lover looks at me, he is delighted with what he sees. Song of Solomon 8:10

Sunday morning (before hearing this sermon), David and I were laying in the bed talking, and he looked over at me and said, “You know, seeing you laying there on that pillow, you look exactly the same as you did when we got married.” Now of course he was just looking at my head, not the extra bulges that have appeared in the last 22 years, but my first thought was, “Okay, what does he want.” But believe it or not, he just wanted to tell me. 

I’m sure we have the same problems and arguments that any married couple does, but when this area of our life is good, we can handle those problems together. We are one. 
From my heart, 


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