Make-a-change Monday~Marriage Menders



To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
Whenever you’re right, shut up.
~Ogden Nash, Marriage Lines: Notes of a Student Husband

Such a simple poem, but so hard to do! No one can get under our skin quite like the one we live with every day, wake up with every morning, go to bed with every night, pay bills with…you know. And Satan loves to keep us too busy to really communicate, so things we thought we said, we might not have; things we do say may not come across the right way. Yep, that can be marriage sometimes.

Busy has been the state of our household this summer, so communication has suffered. It seems like sometimes it’s easier not to say anything at all than “start” something. We have found ourselves going to bed too late, getting up earlier than we’d like, with too much to do, and not enough time to do it in.

I think as couples we often forget we are a team—two individuals with the same goals in mind. Really! Don’t we forget sometimes that we both want to enjoy some fun; we both want the best for our kids; we both want to get the bills paid with a little money left over; we both want to go on a great summer vacation. Why is it so hard to remember we are working together toward the same goals?

I think it all comes down to the word “love.” 

If you look up the word “love” in the dictionary, here’s what you get:

***

love |ləv|nounan intense feeling of deep affection babies fill parents with intense feelings of love their love for their country.• a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone it was love at first sight they were both in love with her we were slowly falling in love.• ( Love) a personified figure of love, often represented as Cupid.• a great interest and pleasure in something his love for football we share a love of music.• affectionate greetings conveyed to someone on one’s behalf.• a formula for ending an affectionate letter take care, lots of love, Judy.a person or thing that one loves she was the love of his life 
***

Cupid? Really? 
Now here’s just a little the Bible says about love:

So A)”>we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. B)”>God is love, and C)”>whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
 (1 John 4:16 ESV)


And then there’s the little matter of the greatest commandments: 

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: D)”>‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment E)”>greater than these.”
(Mark 12:30-31 ESV)

Now go back and read today’s prescription verses from what we know as the love chapter of the Bible. If God is love, we can substitute his name every time the word “love” appears: 

[God] is patient and kind; [God] does not envy or boast; [God] is not arrogant or rude; [God] does not insist on his own way; [God] is not irritable or resentful; [God] does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. [God] bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 

Kind of opens your eyes doesn’t it? If God is love, reading these verses in this way makes me realize how much he really must love us—his children. 

Now comes the hard part. If we are to love our neighbors (and our spouse) as ourselves as God commands us, and we are to love God with everything we have, should we not strive to put our own name as a substitution for the word “love?” Get your steel toed boots on people…this one hurts: 

_____________ is patient and kind;
______________does not envy or boast;
_______________is not arrogant or rude; 
_______________does not insist on his or her own way; 
_______________is not irritable or resentful; {OUCH!}
______________does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with truth. 
_____________bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

What easy marriages we would all have if we could fill in those blanks with our name! Unfortunately, we are human. But so was Jesus. I don’t believe God would express such a genuine love for us if we were not capable of it as well. Easy? No. Worth trying? YES!

Maybe for the {make-a-change} Monday, we could just take one blank at a time…

From my heart, 
Celeste

Small Beginnings & New Habits

In this small, obscure book tucked neatly at the end of the Old Testament, the prophet Zechariah has been sent an angel from God to help him understand the visions he’s been having. Zerubbabel is the governor of Judah and in charge of the daunting task of rebuilding the temple. The vision given to Zechariah was a message to Zerubbabel to encourage him. Through Zechariah’s vision, God is telling Zerubbabel the task will seem huge, and he may think the task is too big for him, but not to doubt. Even though the beginning is small, God rejoices in his effort to begin this good work, and wants him to keep his vision on the grandeur of the end result.


We live in a society of immediate gratification. We want it and we want it now.

We exercise and diet for a week and wonder why we still can’t fit into that cute bathing suit we
bought as a motivation to lose weight.

We want to build our dream house and don’t know why we have to actually have the money first.

We have started a business and don’t know why we haven’t made our first million in the first year.

We start writing a book and don’t know why publishers aren’t knocking down our doors to publish it.

Anything worth accomplishing requires a little due diligence. We must begin creating new habits. Boy have I had to realize that one lately! During the seven years I was dealing with depression, seizures, and too many medications, my body and my brain were on lock down. I did not have the desire to do anything that required energy, whether it was physical or mental exercise. I was “mush” for 7 years.

Once God healed me (physically and mentally) and I was free of all medication, I expected to just jump back into life full force. Joy was once again my friend and I was ready to enjoy all pre-seizure and pre-depression activities.

God was not finished with his lessons yet!

I began writing (which was a new hobby for me), photography, exercising, driving the kids all over the place, cooking, cleaning, etc…and I would get so frustrated because I couldn’t keep up with it all. When I was trying to lose weight after pregnancies, my husband would always tell me it took 9 months to gain it, give myself at least that long to lose it. So now I have been “mush” for seven years. Does that mean it will take seven years to get back up to speed? Not if I can help it! But I do need to work diligently to accomplish my goals.

When I decided to write a book, I called an old friend who was now a writer to ask her advice. She immediately got me plugged in to a local christian writer’s group. I went in to the first meeting all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, only to walk away with the old deer-in-the-headlights look. I was overwhelmed. They were using terms like pitch, one sheet, tag lines, deep POV, query letter, blogging…I had no earthly idea what they were talking about!

My instinct was to forget the writing group and just go home and write, write, write. If God was calling me to do this, then he would make it successful, right? Well, obviously he can perform miracles, he’d already shown me that. But thankfully, my reclaimed friend and now mentor, Vonda, gave me some very good advice. She gave me a few writing blogs to follow, and she told me to just attend the first few meetings as an observer (not bringing anything in to be critiqued just yet).

Fighting my know-it-all instinct, I followed her advice. After a few meetings and some reading at home, I began to understand this foreign language I’d been hearing. I became even more inspired to write, and to give God glory by learning to do write effectively so I can do the best job possible to further his kingdom.

I still have much to learn, and this will be an education to last a lifetime. But when I went to a writer’s conference in May, I received confirmation over and over again that I was doing exactly what I needed to be doing. Two publishers took my work with them, and two agents requested book proposals.

As a pharmacist, writing is a whole new world for me, and is not one I would ever have considered on my own. God definitely led me there. I am sure Zerubbabel was intimidated by the task of building the temple, just as I am intimidated by the task of writing a book. But because I am being obedient to God in this task, I know that he is rejoicing and blessing my writing every small step of the way. I’m incorporating new habits  am looking forward to the grandeur of the end result, whatever and whenever that may be.

 

From my heart,
Celeste